Breaking Now, Foul Ball, Playing Defense

If You’re A Feminist, Bend The F*cking Knee…

You know what’s more refreshing than finding a walking-distance waxing studio in LA that you feel TOTALLY COMFORTABLE in?

Finding a waxer who can talk MMA & UFC.

For me, it is one of the last pieces of an admittedly superficial puzzle that I have been hoping to complete by the time I’m thirty. Other pieces I have finally found include my perfect jeans & correct bra size…

Anyways,

There we were, last Saturday, two minority women, going about business as usual & having a candid discussion about Mayweather VS McGregor.

I asked Yani (my waxer) if she likes MMA & if she watched UFC fights. She said, yes & yes, which, for me, warrants a throw-back TayTay happy/surprised face-

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Yani was rooting for Mayweather while I was rooting for McGregor & we got to talking about humble beginnings-

I told her about Conor’s past as a plumber in Ireland, which she hadn’t known about, & she told me that Dana White used to be a bouncer, which I hadn’t known.

Then she said, ‘With a girl’s name, like ‘Dana,’ he must have gotten picked on a lot & probably had to get tough.’

Of course! Johnny Cash taught me that!

But honestly-

The thought that DANA WHITE, of all people, has a ‘girl’s name’ had NEVER occurred to me…

Because, he is DANA WHITE.

Now, I wouldn’t normally write about a trip to the waxer on the internet nor would I think that my conversation with Yani was anything extraordinary…

BUT THEN

THIS HAPPENED-

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&

I WANTED TO SCREAM AT LAUREN DUCA

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ESP AFTER-

THIS & THIS

& THIS TWEET-

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Which, to me, also translates to:

TAYLOR SWIFT IS A FEMINIST HERO WHO DESERVES NOTHING OTHER THAN UNWAVERING SUPPORT.

BUT!

Apparently, that is one step too far… For no apparent reason, that I can see, other than the fact that she is TAYLOR SWIFT.

I am genuinely shocked by the female backlash to LWYMMD, because if we were following fight rules-

“PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES.”

Taylor would be one of the most celebrated female fighters of our time (instead of one of the most hated pop stars) & we would all be talking about Taylor Swift, 27,’s incredible knock-out win over Denver DJ, David Mueller, 55.

Instead, I keep hearing that Swift defending herself against attacks from other women is anti-feminist & her defending herself against Kanye is part of the larger problem of white privilege.

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Did we expect the young woman who just won her sexual assault trial to just ‘sit back & take it?’

(Are we over the fact that we have an abuser-in-chief who said it was okay to grab women by the p*ssy?)

In fighting, equality is the only term you accept before you start swinging.

McGregor landing a righteous uppercut on Mayweather is equality

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Photo: Isaac Brekken/AP

&

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Photo: Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports

Mayweather knocking McGregor out is equality too.

“It used to be hard for me to watch,” Yani said, “but now, I’ll surprise my husband at the way I yell at the TV, telling them to hit each other.”

I laughed & told her that’s exactly how it is in my house too-

“You start to realize it’s an elegant game of strategy.”

“YES! Do you watch female fighting too?” She asked in an excited voice.

“Of course! Female fighters have some of the best, bloodiest fights.”

Is it considered anti-feminist for a female fighter to land a counter-punch on another female fighter?

No, actually, that’s equality. (I wonder if Lauren Duca watches MMA.)

So, why can’t we accept it when it comes from Taylor Swift?

Is it because the world of pop is somehow supposed to be more ‘polite?’

(What about Katy Perry’s ‘Swish Swish’?)

“Sometimes when I’m trying to understand a person’s motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst.”

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Question: What’s the worst reason we could have for hating T. Swift?

Answer: We equate her success with validation for the principles we feel personally oppressed by &, instead of hating oppression & inequality, we start to hate Taylor as we, in turn, become oppressors ourselves.

Now, let me ask, where in Taylor’s ouvre do you see her glorifying ANY form of inequality or oppression?

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While we have been equating Taylor to a White Walker,

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She has been using her success to fight for musician’s rights & as a platform to empower sexual assault survivors while fighting against rape culture in court…

& all we can talk about are the drawings.

 I understand why Taylor Swift is angry

&

It is a healthy, feminist anger.

We, like Kanye, have tried to make her part of our narrative

&

Taylor devouring her would-be destroyers,

Such as Kimye & Katy,

Before they could devour her

Is no different from Arya Stark killing, then wearing the faces of, those who have wronged her.

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Except-

Arya is fictional. She didn’t really do that. She can’t.

Taylor is real & she just did that-

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So, if you are a feminist fantasizing about Arya sitting on the Iron Throne

Then

Do me a favor-

Bend the f*cking knee

To a real bad*ss chick making self-defense sexy for real women.

Because

If a boy named ‘Dana‘ can make the UFC what it is today, then a girl named ‘Taylor Swift’ should be able reinvent herself as a Tea-Sipping Serpentine Queen.

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“Maybe I have overlearned the lesson of staying calm, biting my tongue, digging my fingernails into a clenched fist, smiling all the while, determined to present a composed face to the world.”

Hillary Clinton

Sipping ice tea till this heat wave passes,

Grl On Base

 

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