Breaking Now, Foul Ball, Playing Defense

If You’re A Feminist, Bend The F*cking Knee…

You know what’s more refreshing than finding a walking-distance waxing studio in LA that you feel TOTALLY COMFORTABLE in?

Finding a waxer who can talk MMA & UFC.

For me, it is one of the last pieces of an admittedly superficial puzzle that I have been hoping to complete by the time I’m thirty. Other pieces I have finally found include my perfect jeans & correct bra size…

Anyways,

There we were, last Saturday, two minority women, going about business as usual & having a candid discussion about Mayweather VS McGregor.

I asked Yani (my waxer) if she likes MMA & if she watched UFC fights. She said, yes & yes, which, for me, warrants a throw-back TayTay happy/surprised face-

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Yani was rooting for Mayweather while I was rooting for McGregor & we got to talking about humble beginnings-

I told her about Conor’s past as a plumber in Ireland, which she hadn’t known about, & she told me that Dana White used to be a bouncer, which I hadn’t known.

Then she said, ‘With a girl’s name, like ‘Dana,’ he must have gotten picked on a lot & probably had to get tough.’

Of course! Johnny Cash taught me that!

But honestly-

The thought that DANA WHITE, of all people, has a ‘girl’s name’ had NEVER occurred to me…

Because, he is DANA WHITE.

Now, I wouldn’t normally write about a trip to the waxer on the internet nor would I think that my conversation with Yani was anything extraordinary…

BUT THEN

THIS HAPPENED-

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&

I WANTED TO SCREAM AT LAUREN DUCA

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ESP AFTER-

THIS & THIS

& THIS TWEET-

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Which, to me, also translates to:

TAYLOR SWIFT IS A FEMINIST HERO WHO DESERVES NOTHING OTHER THAN UNWAVERING SUPPORT.

BUT!

Apparently, that is one step too far… For no apparent reason, that I can see, other than the fact that she is TAYLOR SWIFT.

I am genuinely shocked by the female backlash to LWYMMD, because if we were following fight rules-

“PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES.”

Taylor would be one of the most celebrated female fighters of our time (instead of one of the most hated pop stars) & we would all be talking about Taylor Swift, 27,’s incredible knock-out win over Denver DJ, David Mueller, 55.

Instead, I keep hearing that Swift defending herself against attacks from other women is anti-feminist & her defending herself against Kanye is part of the larger problem of white privilege.

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Did we expect the young woman who just won her sexual assault trial to just ‘sit back & take it?’

(Are we over the fact that we have an abuser-in-chief who said it was okay to grab women by the p*ssy?)

In fighting, equality is the only term you accept before you start swinging.

McGregor landing a righteous uppercut on Mayweather is equality

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Photo: Isaac Brekken/AP

&

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Photo: Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports

Mayweather knocking McGregor out is equality too.

“It used to be hard for me to watch,” Yani said, “but now, I’ll surprise my husband at the way I yell at the TV, telling them to hit each other.”

I laughed & told her that’s exactly how it is in my house too-

“You start to realize it’s an elegant game of strategy.”

“YES! Do you watch female fighting too?” She asked in an excited voice.

“Of course! Female fighters have some of the best, bloodiest fights.”

Is it considered anti-feminist for a female fighter to land a counter-punch on another female fighter?

No, actually, that’s equality. (I wonder if Lauren Duca watches MMA.)

So, why can’t we accept it when it comes from Taylor Swift?

Is it because the world of pop is somehow supposed to be more ‘polite?’

(What about Katy Perry’s ‘Swish Swish’?)

“Sometimes when I’m trying to understand a person’s motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst.”

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Question: What’s the worst reason we could have for hating T. Swift?

Answer: We equate her success with validation for the principles we feel personally oppressed by &, instead of hating oppression & inequality, we start to hate Taylor as we, in turn, become oppressors ourselves.

Now, let me ask, where in Taylor’s ouvre do you see her glorifying ANY form of inequality or oppression?

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While we have been equating Taylor to a White Walker,

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She has been using her success to fight for musician’s rights & as a platform to empower sexual assault survivors while fighting against rape culture in court…

& all we can talk about are the drawings.

 I understand why Taylor Swift is angry

&

It is a healthy, feminist anger.

We, like Kanye, have tried to make her part of our narrative

&

Taylor devouring her would-be destroyers,

Such as Kimye & Katy,

Before they could devour her

Is no different from Arya Stark killing, then wearing the faces of, those who have wronged her.

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Except-

Arya is fictional. She didn’t really do that. She can’t.

Taylor is real & she just did that-

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So, if you are a feminist fantasizing about Arya sitting on the Iron Throne

Then

Do me a favor-

Bend the f*cking knee

To a real bad*ss chick making self-defense sexy for real women.

Because

If a boy named ‘Dana‘ can make the UFC what it is today, then a girl named ‘Taylor Swift’ should be able reinvent herself as a Tea-Sipping Serpentine Queen.

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“Maybe I have overlearned the lesson of staying calm, biting my tongue, digging my fingernails into a clenched fist, smiling all the while, determined to present a composed face to the world.”

Hillary Clinton

Sipping ice tea till this heat wave passes,

Grl On Base

 

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Foul Ball, Playing Defense

#Feminism = The Belief In Basic Human Decency …& Tacos

Yesterday, on International Women’s Day, I wore red to work, but I was still avoiding my old-new-favorite lunch place b/c of a dude who works there-

A dude, who’d asked me out while proudly rocking a cold sore & said, ‘I don’t care,’ when I told him I’m married.

A dude who knows I work across the street & run on tacos.

A dude, who’d always been a little inappropriate

Y’know,

A dude, who I’d always thought was ‘just being a dude.’

:/

See,

#Manspreading has been around for a very long time-

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&

It isn’t just limited to public transportation & Conor McGregor

It’s the state of believing that, as a man, you have the right to more & to be more comfortable.

It is about wanting to have the most space (& power)-

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The first time I noticed it was in school, where I found myself perpetually sandwiched between the dirty sneakers of #manspreadersintraining sitting behind me & the greasy hair of ones seated in front of me.

…That was well before there was a term for #manspreading & before anyone had explained to me that #feminists are just full of,

Y’know,

WANTING WOMEN TO BE TREATED WITH BASIC HUMAN DECENCY-

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#Feminism is important to me b/c, growing-up, whenever I had experiences where I wasn’t treated w/ basic human decency by men, I’d just think-

‘Well, that sucked, but that’s life.’

Now, I know it was/is just,

Y’know,

#Sexism-

Which is a name for something I/WE can fight.

Tomorrow, I’m grabbing back my tacos
&
I encourage all women everywhere to do the same.

#TakeBackYourSpace

…Here’s a helpful ‘how-to’ video from last night’s Survivor premiere,

Courtesy of Sandra Diaz-Twine aka #THEQUEEN

SHE WAS EVEN WEARING RED.

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Well-played, Sandra.

TY for the reminder that to stay #THEQUEEN, you must always move like #THEQUEEN.

Taco Queen,

Your Grl On Base

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Breaking Now, Playing Defense, State of the Union

A Salty State: One Grl’s Take on Changing the Game

So, they’re getting rid of the four-pitch intentional walk…

To ‘improve the pace of game play.’

My favorite reaction-

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I reacted to the news the same way I reacted to Rory’s pregnancy announcement on the Netflix Gilmore Girls’ Revival

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It just makes no sense.

Baseball’s slogan might as well be ‘good things come to those who wait.’

That’s the point.

LOOK AT GAME 7 OF THE 2016 WORLD SERIES.

Even the saltiest Cubs‘ critics (myself included) have to admit-

Forcing a Game 7 & then breaking a 108-year-old curse after rain delaying extra innings is what baseball is all about.

It is about what is possible in each & every moment

It is about inducing

& withstanding

Chaos

&

Only then

Achieving greatness.

If you don’t have time for that, we probably can’t be friends.

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Don’t even get me started on the idea of starting extra innings w/ a runner on 2nd…

It’s baseball. No one is ‘born on second.’

A bag must be earned (& someone’s paying.)

Again, this is baseball. Not Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I’m 100% with my bf on this one-

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Where he & I will probably argue-

Is whether or not to raise the strike zone…

While, in a larger sense, baseball is a perfect metaphor for life

In a smaller sense, it’s about arguing the strike zone…

&

I am for raising the strike zone

&

It’s not just b/c I’m an O’s fan. (I swear!)

Just imagine though-

Trumbo @ Camden w/ a raised strike zone…

Watch out, PECOTA! 😀

 …But it’s not about a revenge fantasy, it’s about stats. (I swear!)

‘More and more pitchers throwing harder and harder is a brutally efficient run prevention methodology that works. The inventory of power arms only grows. That’s because throwing a baseball is a very specific skill with few variables…

Hitting, on the other hand, is a complex read-and-react skill that involves far more variables. The training gap will only grow…

Hitters have less time than ever to react—while facing more pitchers with better stuff than ever. And so the rate of strikeouts has gone up for 11 consecutive years.’

To me, raising the strike zone is an adjustment that doesn’t compromise the integrity of the game.

It would be the baseball equivalent of extending the 3-point line in basketball or, dare I even say it- establishing a 4-point line.

Unlike getting rid of the four-pitch intentional walk, it would ‘improve the pace of game play’ considerably w/ more balls in play & higher scoring games.

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Now, here’s where I disagree with the Sports Illustrated article quoted above-

‘The raising of the strike zone is nothing but a small, interim step—baseball’s typical rate of change—to modernize the game. Until baseball moves to the inevitabilities of a pitch clock, a limited number of timeouts and a governor on relief pitching (such as requiring a minimum of two batters faced), everything else is just small nips and tucks that don’t amount to real change.’

Um, no.

Out of all team sports, baseball is the most individual.

Only in baseball do you get this mano a mano moment-

What more do you want from them?!?!

Let them take their goddamn time
&
RORY & JESS BELONG TOGETHER, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!!

That is all.

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I’m off to secure a tall bookshelf & stream a spring training game now…

❤ Your Grl On Base

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Breaking Now, Foul Ball, Playing Defense

This One’s For My GRLz- In Defense of Hillary Clinton & Taylor Swift

We live in a crazy world.

Donald Trump is running for President

Against

HILLARY CLINTON.

It’s not a trick question.

It’s a n0-brainer.

(O, the irony!)

What part of this is hard?

…Is it harder than NOT calling a woman a b*tch?

Apparently so

&

That makes me sad, ya’ll,

B/c it’s clear to me that

What’s hard is sexism.

😦

What’s hard is this argument I keep running into online-

‘She thinks she’s better than everyone else.’

I’ve seen it written, repeatedly, about both Hillary Clinton & Taylor Swift

&

I find it very troubling

(Aside from the fact that, yea, they ARE)

Esp. when I look at who they find themselves up against-

Donald Trump & Kanye West.

Am I missing something?! Are these men known for their HUMILITY?!

NO!

They are misogynist egomaniacs & publicity addicts.

Would you EVER hear Taylor Swift OR Hillary Clinton say that they think they’re better than everyone else?!

NO!

They are two accomplished women, who both continue to be successful amidst harsh criticism while also maintaining a constant state of DIGNITY.

I think it’s actually their uncompromising DIGNITY that’s hard for people…

&

It’s probably harder for those who are deeply insecure…

&

Those who are scared of strong women…

&

Those who might hide behind their own special brand of blinding narcissism…

What’s actually at the heart of Kimye‘s beef stew w/ TayTay is the fact that-

Kanye West did not make Taylor Swift famous!

Taylor made Kanye infamous

W/out even trying

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&

He has never forgiven her.

:/

Me?

 I cannot forgive Kanye for Famous

B/c

REGARDLESS of how much Taylor knew about the lyrics-

Why would he call this lovely, accomplished young woman, who has had the grace & dignity to publicly forgive HIM,

A B*TCH?!

B/c felt he threatened

&

Upset by the fact that she has more of what he values most-

Fame.

Taylor’s Fame has thus far been a special kind,

Bathed in golden light-

A kind that takes work to achieve.

Taylor did the work.

We all watched as she did it

&

Grew up in the process.

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We watched as she somehow thrived in an industry that is not known to respect women

&

Managed to survive w/out a blemish on her reputation-

Taylor Swift is a real-life female role-model,

Who Kanye is seeking to

Destroy

&

Rob

(Of what she has earned through a lifetime of hard work.)

He’s already tried it once,

Thoughtlessly & drunkenly,

But this time-

He did it more thoughtfully,

W/ the help of an enabler-

Kim Kardashian West

(Just the name makes me shudder.)

Let’s face it-

Kimye set a trap.

Remember the Benghazi hearing?

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Now, the Republicans weren’t able to catch Hillary w/ the hearing,

But they’re not letting go of those emails…

Just sayin’.

What it really comes down to w/ both women is-

They got caught protecting themselves at all costs

&

That’s not ‘lady-like,’

But what is & isn’t ‘lady-like’ is the battle that’s being fought

&

The struggle is real.

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Look at the other side-

Do Kanye West & Donald Trump play fair themselves?

&

Do we, as women, want to be represented by Kim Kardashian & Melania Trump,

The leading ladies of Kanye West & Donald Trump?!

Or

Do we want to be represented by empowered women who are actual leaders?

Go on,

Tell me again how you’re ‘tired’ of Hillary & Taylor

&

I will show you two women who work harder for good on a near daily basis than many people do in a lifetime.

200

That is all.

I’m w/ them,

Forever

&

Always,

Your grl on base.

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Breaking Now, Fantasy, Playing Defense, State of the Union

When Fantasy & Reality Collide…

Fantasy Vs. Reality?

Today, I choose Reality. The Reality is- it’s a beautiful Saturday morning & just last night, my husband & I had a fantastic date night… that ended with us naked …in bed …making fun of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Awesome Friday Night.

(The Reality is also that we were coming off of an emotional Thursday night, during which I must’ve lost half my body-weight in tears.

It was a classic little-thing-blowing-up-quickly scenario, like the walk that leads to a ‘four-homer, nine-run seventh.’)

So-

It was also a Recovery Friday Night & it started with a date…

When Reality sucks, I choose Fantasy… Baseball. My husband, accepting this, took me to a bar where the Dodgers game was on (I have BOTH Kershaw & Bumgarner in Fantasy) & got some whiskey & wings in me (& that is how you get me naked.)

What was awesome for me in Reality, was not awesome for me in Fantasy

I was expecting double-digit Ks (a category I was losing) from both starters… & that is not what I got.

There’s the rub, but that’s the game.

In the after-math, I’m left leading in Ks… but barely …& my opponent has Wainwright & Price starting today.

Who do I have starting today & tomorrow? NOBODY.

…& we’re tied, 5 -5…

So, with two days of games left, it’s time for some lady-balls-

Are there any SPs I can add that’ll be available & starting tomorrow? Yes.

Is one of them, the O’s very own, Mike Wright? Yes.

Was he sort of sh*tty his last time out? Yes.

Is the other Wright (Steven Wright) maybe a better option? Yes.

But-

Do I just have a feeling about this guy? Yes.

DID I JUST DROP STARLIN CASTRO & PICK UP MIKE WRIGHT FOR TOMORROW?!

YES.

&-

Why the hell not put my lady-balls to the wall & go with my heart? The O’s ARE WINNING!

(Let’s face it-

Any time the O’s are winning it’s a Fantasy turned Reality.)

So-

With Schoop, Trumbo, & Rickard all in for today,

if I go down this week- I go down the honorable way.

 I mean-

In Reality & Fantasy this week, I’ve made some mistakes-

Like shutting a door at the wrong time & benching SO MANY PLAYERS WHEN THEY’VE HOMERED (hilariously leaving me perpetually 1 HR behind my opponent.)

Still-

I’ve have had some high-highs…

Like trading-

Not just Salvador Pérez & Victor Martinez for Matt Wieters & Andrew Miller

But also-

Watching that crazy 7th inning when we got home from the bar last night for going to bed with my husband.

Best Trade Ever.

So now-

I pray

&

plug back in

(I set my lineup early this morning & have opted to write this post without checking the status of the games.)

Just in time for-

The O’s, getting back at it, in just a few short hours…

Once again-

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Cheers, your grl on base.

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Playing Defense

On Lobsters, Breaking Balls and my love of Country Music (An Explantion)

The other day, this lobster* I know messaged me on Facebook.

He asked me about me, so I brought up baseball. I asked about him and he shared some music.

Listening to it, I remembered-

The lobster is a fantastic sax player.

Back in the day, I scampered around Baltimore with all sorts of crazy people to all sorts of crazy places to listen to bands, like the one the lobster was/is in. That is how we met- at a venue that I think was really just the basement of someone’s apartment.

I was recently single, a little stoned, and, earlier in the evening, I’d been on the receiving end of a sweaty hug from Dan Deacon- in other words, I was invincible.

So, spurred on by equally irresponsible girlfriends, I flirted with the sax-playing lobster…

We went out on a date…

I remember roaming the streets of Baltimore with him and it being very cinematically romantic…

And?

…I’m really not sure why I don’t remember there being many, any? more dates with this mysterious creature…

He was, in baseball metaphor, a breaking ballonly in the strike zone for a short amount of time and, somehow, he zigged away from me.

Which tells me- either he was simply moving away too fast or I was too slow, perhaps on purpose, letting him get away.

Actually- it might be that, while I felt invincible that night, I wasn’t really myself- and that is someone who, I have come to discover, is just a skinny, ½ Taiwanese chick who f*ckin loves baseball and country music.

…Don’t get me wrong, the glittering idealism of indie rock, music of the lobster, will always have a piece of my heart,

but it’s the gritty realism of country music that I’ve come to prefer.

Baseball, I think, straddles that line and is therefore awesome. Look at this breaking ball, for instance-

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It is about as ideal and as nasty as it gets and it is awesome.

I can’t keep up with the indie scene anymore, but baseball and country music will always be my speed… Both rely on a tried and true story that is constantly being re-told in new and exciting ways by a shockingly diverse cast of characters… and, in the end, it’s different every time.

…Last week, the Mets tweeted this amazing picture of Bartolo Colon- #BigSexy is 42 and still playing baseball alongside this cool Cuban, 30, and, of course, Thor, 23.

It just doesn’t get any more shockingly diverse than those three… Unless, of course, it’s these four. 😉

Seriously though- the amount of diversity is one of my favorite things about baseball.

Here’s a great quote from Buck Showalter about the O’s new Korean outfielder, Hyun Soo Kim:

“I think he’s going to find out because of the teammates he has that they’re going to make his path a lot easier. And I think he’s going to find that baseball’s baseball. And we’re respectful of where he’s come from. We don’t have all the answers. There are some things we can learn from him. I’m going to pick his brain about some things that they do. We’re not in this world alone.”

And country music? How is it diverse, you ask?

America is changing and so is country music- we have a mixed president and, this year, America just might elect a country-lovin’ mixed chick as its American Idol. If you watch the linked video, you’ll see country-star and judge, Keith Urban, give Tristan McIntosh a standing O.

(Now, I love Keith, but even I lol-ed when I first heard John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16. John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16? Keith, you’re Australian– but I guess that’s my point, ain’t it?)

I love that to get into country music, all you have to do is believe in the story. While some songs go deeper than others, the message is always simple and relatable…

You see, country music believes in country first (Don’t most baseball fans start off cheering for the local team?) …and that all you need to be happy is something to work on, someone to love, and something to look forward to (even if it’s just drinking) …however, if you loose one, or all of those things, you might not be so happy (and want to drink.)

While not my favorite- Florida Georgia Line, experts in the ‘something to look forward to’ department, are mixin’ it up. In their own words, their ‘mixtape’s got a little Hank’ and ‘a little Drake’… and that right there is an important message disguised as a throw-away line. Now, if you actually clicked on those links (and you have one feminist bone in your body?) and those videos are killin’ you, don’t worry, Maddie & Tae have something to say about the ‘Girl In A Country Song.’

…In music, as in baseball, every generation has their classics– mine include Cal Ripken, Jr. and Tim McGraw-

Man, was I touched when I heard that the poor man ‘ain’t seen the Braves play a game all year.’ (This year, by the way, the Braves ‘hope to be very active internationally.’ Diversity! 🙂 )

& I’m not the only one for whom Tim McGraw is a classic- ‘Tim McGraw’ was Taylor Swift‘s first single! She became famous using country music to tell her stories and, now, she is one of pop music’s most majestic story-tellers.

She also said this at the 2015 ACMs:

“Somebody once told me that you truly see who a person is when you tell them something they don’t want to hear. You truly see who a person is when you give them news that they weren’t expecting. So to the country music community, when I told you that I had made a pop album and I wanted to go explore other genres, you showed me who you are with the grace you accepted that with. I will never forget it.”

What I’m ultimately trying to say here is- while some closed-minded people might like country music, country music itself is not closed-minded. It’s comforting. At least, it is for me & Tristan McIntosh. …Still not convinced? Maybe Alan Jackson can convince you-

& if that don’t work, maybe it ain’t for you, but at least now I have an explanation for all the lobsters and lobster-lovers in my life.

12049615_1636336649982748_1177529295554408142_nShall we end this with the O’s 7th inning stretch song? Yes, we shall.

*The night we met, he was performing in a band in which all the members were wearing crustacean-like heads (headpieces?)… The term ‘lobster’ was used to describe him at some point in the evening and it just stuck.

See ya’ll next time, your grl on base!

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