Breaking Now, Fantasy

Your Top 10 Baseball Valentines

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Screenshot from ESPN’s ’30 for 30: Silly Little Game’

Ah, February 14th, Valentine’s Day

But, more importantly, it’s the beginning of Spring Training!!!

If you’re like me, you’ve had enough teasing from MLB.com’s FB Feed & you’re ready to get down to it.

A long Fantasy dry spell can leave a grl a lil thirsty

So, to celebrate the return of Baseball & Fantasy, I’ve created a top 10 list of Red Hot Baseball Valentines for all my Bad *ss Fantasy Baes out there.

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The players listed below are not just certifiable hotties

  They also (in my humble opinion) have a H2H Fantasy Ranking above 100 (w/ One #BigSexy Exception, b/c, c’mon how could I not include Bartolo?)

Take a good look, ladies, b/c these hot studs are packin’ even hotter stats & will be going fast in your upcoming drafts.
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Photo: @Mets (1 Mar 2016)

# 10Bartolo Colon – Ok, let’s face it- Bartolo may be going to the Braves, but he’s not going anywhere fast (in Fantasy or reality.) Still, it’s #BigSexy! He’s a huggable hurler w/ plenty of love to go around-

Report: Colon Being Sued For Child Support By Woman Who’s Not His Wife

Rosanna Colon confirmed to the Post that she has known about her husband’s second family for some time but would not elaborate.’

You can’t be the possessive type with #BigSexy.

You have to appreciate him for who he is-

A larger-than-life streamer who probably won’t blow up your ERA.

Tampa Bay Rays v New York Yankees

Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

#9Chris Archer – He may be a little emotional on the mound, but if you’re looking for sensitivity & strike outs galore, look no further than Archer.

Charismatic & passionate about community service, Chris is def. bae-material-

Just don’t be late & always respond to his tweets.

I know, I know-

He didn’t have the best 2016. (Who did?)

Taking Archer requires faith, but I believe he is more than deserving.

# 8Jake Arrieta A pitcher worth a thousand words

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Photo: Marcus Eriksson/ESPN

…Next! 😉

# 7Xander Bogaerts – Quick! Who’s your shortstop? Seager (on deck,) Lindor, or Correa? You wouldn’t bae alone. Those are the guys topping MLB Network’s ‘Top 10 Shortstops Right Now’ list. (So you know they’ll be drafted fast.)

Who else can a grl trust to have her back?

Bogaerts.

Boston Red Sox Photo Day

Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

The X-Man is the guy you know about, but didn’t know you needed.

In 2016

Xander had a better average (& hit 1 more home run) than Correa, got 11 more RBIs than Lindor, & stole 13 bases to Seager’s 3.

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R.B.I. Baseball 17 Promo

# 6Cory Seager -> Cougars meet Cory, 2016 NL Rookie of the Year. He’s just 22, but has no problem connecting (193 hits in 2016.)

He’s so Seager to please-

Everyone wants to play w/ him.

That’s why he’s R.B.I. Baseball 17’s cover athlete.

If you like shiny new things, seek out Seager in sunny LA.

Your ex is gonna be soooo jealous.

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Photo: MLB.com

# 5Starling Marte – A good man may be hard to find, but finding stolen bases can be even harder

That’s why it’s worth snagging Marte before he’s gone.

In 2016, he stole 47 bases & my ❤ –

Starling isn’t just good for SBs

‘He has blossomed into a true five-tool player, just as capable of changing a game in left field or on the bases as he is at the plate.’

My advice: Run w/ him & don’t look back.

# 4Kris Bryant – If you’re the kinda grl that likes to roll w/ the most popular jock on the block, bet on Bryant.

Not likely to be lacking in confidence, he’s coming off an epic World Series win w/ the Cubs & a sizzling Express ad campaign

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2016 Express Fall/Winter Campaign

Those baby blues are waiting to take you home.

(RBIs & HRs for days, ladies.)

# 3 –  Clayton Kershaw – Like a Golden Retriever, Kersherz is shaggy-haired, blonde, & reliable.

Able to recognize a good thing when he has it, Clayton isn’t going to let you run away.

Case in point-

He married his high school sweetheart & he’s got a killer ERA.

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Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

You’re never going to have to worry about Kershaw.

He’s just that good

…until the postseason…

Bae-ware

The Kersh is not good under pressure.

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Photo: MLB.com

#2Manny Machado – For those of you who have been scrolling down this list waiting for someone to really get your engine going, this jug-eared hothead is the Manny for you.

He isn’t f*cking messing around-

Machado is prepared to smash anything & anyone that comes at him.

Forget getting your name tattooed on his arm, Manny will get your whole damn face

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The human equivalent of a hot rod, this guy isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

# 1Noah Syndergaard

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Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

Nicknamed Thor, after the hammer wielding Norse god, you Noah that Syndergaard knows how to make an impression-

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Like Manny, he’s got 0 f*cks to give-

Syndergaard is slumping,’ they said last August.

‘Could be the bone spur in his pitching elbow.’

…Um, did you see the NL Wild Card Game last year?

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That’s what happens when you test a god.

(Alas, even gods need run support.)

Don’t be basic w/ Syndergaard

Just be happy to have witnessed next level hotness.

🙂

Well, there you have it-

10 Damn Fine Ballers.

…I think OG Fantasy Bae, Valerie Salembier, would be proud.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Your Grl On Base.

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Fantasy, State of the Union

Mistakes Were Made – #2016

2016 contained so many endings that now that it has finally ended,

I still can’t believe it.

There’s been a lot of denial,
(I just started a 1,000 piece puzzle consisting of mostly foliage.)
But that, too, must end soon.
…I think a lot of us are in the same boat.

So,

What now?

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For me, that means going back to where I left off here @ Grl On Base & piecing together the personally significant moments that happened as what started off as a downright promising year finally came to an end…

We start,

In classic 2016 fashion,

With a tragic boating accident

&

The death of José Fernández.

(Remember that?)

The death of José Fernández was my first ‘Is this real life?’ moment of 2016.

I mean-

Fernández defected from Cuba.
It took four attempts.
He spent a year in Cuban prison for attempting to leave.
On his fourth & final attempt, a wave carried someone overboard & Fernández jumped in after them-
I dove to help a person not thinking who that person was. Imagine when I realized it was my own mother. If that does not leave a mark on you for the rest of your life, I don’t know what will.’
The 15-year-old Fernandez swam through the waves with Maritza clinging to his back and they reached the boat some 15 minutes later.”

That’s insane.

Then came the headlines-
Marlins ace Fernandez dies in boating accident
Jose Fernandez had cocaine, alcohol in system during fatal boat crash
Unable to fully process the reality of the situation,
The day after his death, I made a mistake-

A #BigSexy mistake…

I left Bartolo Colón in against the Marlins.

(2.1 IP, 27.00 ERA, 3.43 WHIP-

Not an ideal way to start the final week of Fantasy.)

I realized I would need to make some big moves if I really wanted to take it to Crabtree, my year-long nemesis, the one week it really mattered.

Afterall,

This was the end

&

The Wave* was coming.

(The Wave* is an easy listening radio station & what Crabtree took to calling the sizeable group of solid pitchers he had starting toward the end of the week. He liked it so much he changed his team name to ‘94.7 The Wave.’ Diabolical.)
What happened next might best be described by one whose eloquence certainly rivals that of T.S. Eliot-

Gwen Stefani,

In her 2004 anthem, ‘Hollaback Girl.’

Ahem-

Few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
‘Cause I ain’t no hollaback grl
I ain’t no hollaback grl
A couple days later, at 2 AM, it dawned on me-
Fantasy was ending & therefore nothing (& no one) was precious any more (except for Manny & MadBum, my two Keepers. ❤ )
Dramatic? Yes. But also effective.

2am

Crabtree was all in on The Wave. He even had a wave patch picked out for our league trophy jacket.
In the meantime, I started building shelter with walls made out of innings pitched (144.2 was the final count) & sandbags full of the best available streaming options.

 

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This my sh*t, this my sh*t. This my sh*t, This my sh*t. This my…

It still came down to a good ol’ fashioned Sunday Showdown,

So that’s right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us wanna be the winner, but there can only be oooone

The O’s were looking to lock up their place in the AL Wild Card Game & I was playing for all the marbles,

So I’m gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to ya

&

On Oct. 2nd 2016,

NO mistakes were made.

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That’s right.
I’m the last one standing
&
Another one bites the dust.

…I won.

The O’s won-

It was a perfect day of perfect streaming.

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Yes, the O’s would go on to loose the Wild Card Game in extra innings without using Britton, MLB’s best closer.
Yes, Trevor Bauer CUT HIS FINGER ON A DRONE & had to leave a playoff game b/c it wouldn’t stop bleeding.
Yes, I tried getting into football, b/c, hey LA has a team again & Goff is pretty cute…

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Yes, Trump would wind up getting elected into office.

Yes, many more mistakes were made.

So many, in fact,

That come UFC 207-
The worst case scenario is sort of what I’d come to expect,

But I am a sucker for a comeback

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& a really great hat…

What I didn’t expect was Cody Freakin’ Garbrandt.

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In an epic 5 round fight that looked like it might have been 1/3 well-timed voguing,

Cody made UFC 207 his own Oct. 2nd 2016

&

Beat Dominick Cruz, becoming the new UFC bantamweight champ,

&

THEN HE CALLED OUT T.J. DILLASHAW

&

It

Was

HOT!

Perfect eyebrows aside, it was just an exemplary display of what sport is all about-
Exactly what’s possible when adequate training, full commitment, & a little bit of trash-talk are combined.

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So beautiful…

Ronda’s fight was the opposite.

It was like she’d manifested her own worst fears…

It was 2016’s final sucker-punch

&

It kinda broke my heart.

There’s a lot of speculation that she’ll retire now & a lot of people are weighing in with their opinions.

My feeling is-

Regardless, Ronda was the one who made it possible for women to headline a major UFC PPV event.
Now, Amanda Nunes, the first openly gay champion in UFC history, has defended her belt against THE Ronda Rousey (w/ a classic, old-school Ronda quick-finish, no less.)

That’s MMA herstory & both women have their place.

Should Ronda continue her story in the UFC?
I don’t know, but I liked what Jon Jones had to say-

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&

What Trump had to say is a reminder why we all have to keep fighting in 2017…

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But first, I’m going to finish that puzzle

&

Leave this here:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

…Just b/c it’s 2017 doesn’t mean we can’t try

&

Live every day like it’s

Oct. 2nd 2016

&

Party like it’s 2004…

(39 days till pitchers & catchers report!)

😉

#NotRetired,

Your Grl On Base

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