Playing Defense

Manny From Miami

THANK-YOU, DAN CLARK.

It has been driving me CRaZy the way everybody has been comparing the two, like they rly think Manny Machado & Bryce Harper are of the same caliber.

Manny is 100% going to bless whichever lucky team finally lands him. Harper is going to bring two hair dryers &, ok, probs some home runs.

Unrivaled defensive capabilities aside-

I’m also willing to bet that Manny hits MORE home runs AND hits for a better average …&, that at the end of the 2019 season, Manny from Miami will have an OPS above Bryce’s & a brighter future.

If Manny ends up with the Padres, it’s really what we all deserve.

I wouldn’t be mad at it. It would give me an excuse to plan a weekend trip to San Diego & finally check out Petco Park.

I think the Padres might surprise people this year & signing Manny would be a great way to start.

I also think of a sad, tan man from San Diego, who I met on a Grapeline Wine Tour in 2015. He was really bummed out about his son deciding to quit baseball. & the Padres.

Can you imagine a world where Manny Machado helps bring the Padres to their first World Series win? Wouldn’t you rather see that than see the Yankees or Red Sox or even the Astros win (again)? (Sad, tan man would.)

&

Isn’t imagining That World part of the BeAuTy of BaSeBAll

???

Even if it’s really, really, really unlikely-

You still gotta believe, right?

It builds character (& possibly five grand.) I also firmly believe that this is why there is such a lack of character in so many Yankees fans-

(I guess if Manny ends up with the Yankees, which I know he’d love, it’ll be what I really deserve. >_<)

But for now, I’m going to revel in one of my favorite Manny/Orioles memories…

*ThAt TiMe* Yordano Ventura (may he rest in peace) hit Machado with a fastball & Manny charged the mound & Adam Jones PAID HIS FINE.

SOMEBODY PLZ SIGN MANNY MACHADO & ADAM JONES ALREADY.

*~* I *politely* DGAF about Bryce Harper. *~*

That is all. 🙂
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Breaking Now, Fantasy

Your Top 10 Baseball Valentines

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Screenshot from ESPN’s ’30 for 30: Silly Little Game’

Ah, February 14th, Valentine’s Day

But, more importantly, it’s the beginning of Spring Training!!!

If you’re like me, you’ve had enough teasing from MLB.com’s FB Feed & you’re ready to get down to it.

A long Fantasy dry spell can leave a grl a lil thirsty

So, to celebrate the return of Baseball & Fantasy, I’ve created a top 10 list of Red Hot Baseball Valentines for all my Bad *ss Fantasy Baes out there.

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The players listed below are not just certifiable hotties

  They also (in my humble opinion) have a H2H Fantasy Ranking above 100 (w/ One #BigSexy Exception, b/c, c’mon how could I not include Bartolo?)

Take a good look, ladies, b/c these hot studs are packin’ even hotter stats & will be going fast in your upcoming drafts.

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Photo: @Mets (1 Mar 2016)

# 10Bartolo Colon – Ok, let’s face it- Bartolo may be going to the Braves, but he’s not going anywhere fast (in Fantasy or reality.) Still, it’s #BigSexy! He’s a huggable hurler w/ plenty of love to go around-

Report: Colon Being Sued For Child Support By Woman Who’s Not His Wife

Rosanna Colon confirmed to the Post that she has known about her husband’s second family for some time but would not elaborate.’

You can’t be the possessive type with #BigSexy.

You have to appreciate him for who he is-

A larger-than-life streamer who probably won’t blow up your ERA.

Tampa Bay Rays v New York Yankees

Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

#9Chris Archer – He may be a little emotional on the mound, but if you’re looking for sensitivity & strike outs galore, look no further than Archer.

Charismatic & passionate about community service, Chris is def. bae-material-

Just don’t be late & always respond to his tweets.

I know, I know-

He didn’t have the best 2016. (Who did?)

Taking Archer requires faith, but I believe he is more than deserving.

# 8Jake Arrieta A pitcher worth a thousand words

i

Photo: Marcus Eriksson/ESPN

…Next! 😉

# 7Xander Bogaerts – Quick! Who’s your shortstop? Seager (on deck,) Lindor, or Correa? You wouldn’t bae alone. Those are the guys topping MLB Network’s ‘Top 10 Shortstops Right Now’ list. (So you know they’ll be drafted fast.)

Who else can a grl trust to have her back?

Bogaerts.

Boston Red Sox Photo Day

Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

The X-Man is the guy you know about, but didn’t know you needed.

In 2016

Xander had a better average (& hit 1 more home run) than Correa, got 11 more RBIs than Lindor, & stole 13 bases to Seager’s 3.

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R.B.I. Baseball 17 Promo

# 6Cory Seager -> Cougars meet Cory, 2016 NL Rookie of the Year. He’s just 22, but has no problem connecting (193 hits in 2016.)

He’s so Seager to please-

Everyone wants to play w/ him.

That’s why he’s R.B.I. Baseball 17’s cover athlete.

If you like shiny new things, seek out Seager in sunny LA.

Your ex is gonna be soooo jealous.

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Photo: MLB.com

# 5Starling Marte – A good man may be hard to find, but finding stolen bases can be even harder

That’s why it’s worth snagging Marte before he’s gone.

In 2016, he stole 47 bases & my ❤ –

Starling isn’t just good for SBs

‘He has blossomed into a true five-tool player, just as capable of changing a game in left field or on the bases as he is at the plate.’

My advice: Run w/ him & don’t look back.

# 4Kris Bryant – If you’re the kinda grl that likes to roll w/ the most popular jock on the block, bet on Bryant.

Not likely to be lacking in confidence, he’s coming off an epic World Series win w/ the Cubs & a sizzling Express ad campaign

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2016 Express Fall/Winter Campaign

Those baby blues are waiting to take you home.

(RBIs & HRs for days, ladies.)

# 3 –  Clayton Kershaw – Like a Golden Retriever, Kersherz is shaggy-haired, blonde, & reliable.

Able to recognize a good thing when he has it, Clayton isn’t going to let you run away.

Case in point-

He married his high school sweetheart & he’s got a killer ERA.

claytonkershawnlcslosangelesdodgersvcj2b5ppkut0l

Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

You’re never going to have to worry about Kershaw.

He’s just that good

…until the postseason…

Bae-ware

The Kersh is not good under pressure.

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Photo: MLB.com

#2Manny Machado – For those of you who have been scrolling down this list waiting for someone to really get your engine going, this jug-eared hothead is the Manny for you.

He isn’t f*cking messing around-

Machado is prepared to smash anything & anyone that comes at him.

Forget getting your name tattooed on his arm, Manny will get your whole damn face

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The human equivalent of a hot rod, this guy isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

# 1Noah Syndergaard

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Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

Nicknamed Thor, after the hammer wielding Norse god, you Noah that Syndergaard knows how to make an impression-

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Like Manny, he’s got 0 f*cks to give-

Syndergaard is slumping,’ they said last August.

‘Could be the bone spur in his pitching elbow.’

…Um, did you see the NL Wild Card Game last year?

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That’s what happens when you test a god.

(Alas, even gods need run support.)

Don’t be basic w/ Syndergaard

Just be happy to have witnessed next level hotness.

🙂

Well, there you have it-

10 Damn Fine Ballers.

…I think OG Fantasy Bae, Valerie Salembier, would be proud.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Your Grl On Base.

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