Foul Ball, Playing Defense

#Feminism = The Belief In Basic Human Decency …& Tacos

Yesterday, on International Women’s Day, I wore red to work, but I was still avoiding my old-new-favorite lunch place b/c of a dude who works there-

A dude, who’d asked me out while proudly rocking a cold sore & said, ‘I don’t care,’ when I told him I’m married.

A dude who knows I work across the street & run on tacos.

A dude, who’d always been a little inappropriate

Y’know,

A dude, who I’d always thought was ‘just being a dude.’

:/

See,

#Manspreading has been around for a very long time-

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&

It isn’t just limited to public transportation & Conor McGregor

It’s the state of believing that, as a man, you have the right to more & to be more comfortable.

It is about wanting to have the most space (& power)-

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The first time I noticed it was in school, where I found myself perpetually sandwiched between the dirty sneakers of #manspreadersintraining sitting behind me & the greasy hair of ones seated in front of me.

…That was well before there was a term for #manspreading & before anyone had explained to me that #feminists are just full of,

Y’know,

WANTING WOMEN TO BE TREATED WITH BASIC HUMAN DECENCY-

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#Feminism is important to me b/c, growing-up, whenever I had experiences where I wasn’t treated w/ basic human decency by men, I’d just think-

‘Well, that sucked, but that’s life.’

Now, I know it was/is just,

Y’know,

#Sexism-

Which is a name for something I/WE can fight.

Tomorrow, I’m grabbing back my tacos
&
I encourage all women everywhere to do the same.

#TakeBackYourSpace

…Here’s a helpful ‘how-to’ video from last night’s Survivor premiere,

Courtesy of Sandra Diaz-Twine aka #THEQUEEN

SHE WAS EVEN WEARING RED.

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Well-played, Sandra.

TY for the reminder that to stay #THEQUEEN, you must always move like #THEQUEEN.

Taco Queen,

Your Grl On Base

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Breaking Now, Foul Ball, Playing Defense

This One’s For My GRLz- In Defense of Hillary Clinton & Taylor Swift

We live in a crazy world.

Donald Trump is running for President

Against

HILLARY CLINTON.

It’s not a trick question.

It’s a n0-brainer.

(O, the irony!)

What part of this is hard?

…Is it harder than NOT calling a woman a b*tch?

Apparently so

&

That makes me sad, ya’ll,

B/c it’s clear to me that

What’s hard is sexism.

😦

What’s hard is this argument I keep running into online-

‘She thinks she’s better than everyone else.’

I’ve seen it written, repeatedly, about both Hillary Clinton & Taylor Swift

&

I find it very troubling

(Aside from the fact that, yea, they ARE)

Esp. when I look at who they find themselves up against-

Donald Trump & Kanye West.

Am I missing something?! Are these men known for their HUMILITY?!

NO!

They are misogynist egomaniacs & publicity addicts.

Would you EVER hear Taylor Swift OR Hillary Clinton say that they think they’re better than everyone else?!

NO!

They are two accomplished women, who both continue to be successful amidst harsh criticism while also maintaining a constant state of DIGNITY.

I think it’s actually their uncompromising DIGNITY that’s hard for people…

&

It’s probably harder for those who are deeply insecure…

&

Those who are scared of strong women…

&

Those who might hide behind their own special brand of blinding narcissism…

What’s actually at the heart of Kimye‘s beef stew w/ TayTay is the fact that-

Kanye West did not make Taylor Swift famous!

Taylor made Kanye infamous

W/out even trying

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&

He has never forgiven her.

:/

Me?

 I cannot forgive Kanye for Famous

B/c

REGARDLESS of how much Taylor knew about the lyrics-

Why would he call this lovely, accomplished young woman, who has had the grace & dignity to publicly forgive HIM,

A B*TCH?!

B/c felt he threatened

&

Upset by the fact that she has more of what he values most-

Fame.

Taylor’s Fame has thus far been a special kind,

Bathed in golden light-

A kind that takes work to achieve.

Taylor did the work.

We all watched as she did it

&

Grew up in the process.

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We watched as she somehow thrived in an industry that is not known to respect women

&

Managed to survive w/out a blemish on her reputation-

Taylor Swift is a real-life female role-model,

Who Kanye is seeking to

Destroy

&

Rob

(Of what she has earned through a lifetime of hard work.)

He’s already tried it once,

Thoughtlessly & drunkenly,

But this time-

He did it more thoughtfully,

W/ the help of an enabler-

Kim Kardashian West

(Just the name makes me shudder.)

Let’s face it-

Kimye set a trap.

Remember the Benghazi hearing?

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Now, the Republicans weren’t able to catch Hillary w/ the hearing,

But they’re not letting go of those emails…

Just sayin’.

What it really comes down to w/ both women is-

They got caught protecting themselves at all costs

&

That’s not ‘lady-like,’

But what is & isn’t ‘lady-like’ is the battle that’s being fought

&

The struggle is real.

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Look at the other side-

Do Kanye West & Donald Trump play fair themselves?

&

Do we, as women, want to be represented by Kim Kardashian & Melania Trump,

The leading ladies of Kanye West & Donald Trump?!

Or

Do we want to be represented by empowered women who are actual leaders?

Go on,

Tell me again how you’re ‘tired’ of Hillary & Taylor

&

I will show you two women who work harder for good on a near daily basis than many people do in a lifetime.

200

That is all.

I’m w/ them,

Forever

&

Always,

Your grl on base.

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Foul Ball

Deadpool = Royally Bad

Welp, I’m just going to say it-

 I would rather see the Royals in the 2016 playoffs than see Deadpool again.

…I knew from the opening credits, the way you know when your team is playing the Royals in a post-season game, that it was going to be a sh*t show-

I did NOT know it was going to be a seemingly un-ending, incredibly sexist, subtly racist barrage of torture porn and violence.

In fact, unlike most Royals games, I was looking forward to seeing Deadpool. It was my husband, a weary Hollywood screenwriter, who was dragging his feet on going (anything scripted gives him work agita.)

Then, his brother came to stay with us for the weekend and we were both like-

‘OMG, LETZ GO SEE DEADPOOL!

So, on a Sunday that started like a Wes Anderson movie (twins playing guitars,) we made our way to see DEADPOOL! and it went a little something like this-

The horror

I watched as it got more and more f*cked up.

It must have f*cked me up, because for days afterwards I couldn’t stop coming up with new ways to describe how awful it was. It consumed me. Finally, I hit rock bottom and created this-

We'll Never Be Royaaals

Contributers: Caravaggio, John Rieger & Thomas Shea @ USA TODAY Sports, Sluggerrr… & myself (for doing the cutting and pasting!)

 …It’s essentially a postmodern breakdown of game 2 of the 2015 ALDS.

‘We Will Never Be Royaaalsis the current working title, but I’m open to other suggestions.

The point is-

What I’ve made is ridiculous. It’s gratuitous and irreverent and just because it’s sorta funny doesn’t mean it has any right existing-

That is exactly how I felt about Deadpool.

I felt like it crossed too many lines while proving nothing-

Given how f*cked up the non-fiction world is right now, surely Hollywood can give us better than that?

This is actually happening in the world.

So, why do we need to have a leading man, in a superhero movie kids can’t help but want to see, graphically tortured to the point of disfiguration?

Many people go to the movies for a fun distraction. What if you were dealing with a cancer diagnosis? Recovering from a burn wound? What if you’re a survivor of domestic abuse? …That’s seriousperiod. Those lines between Deadpool and Vanessa that make light of being abused are not funnyperiod. :/

(By the way- People will laugh at a video of a person running into a pole over and over again. Does that make it a great film? What if the person running into the pole intermittently addresses the viewer and cracks a joke or two? Hmm?)

But, let’s move on-

to SEXISM!

I mean, I am a GRL first and I would not encourage other GRLS to see this movie.

Deadpool’s GRL problem is clearly depicted in the scene where Vanessa straps it on and whispers in Deadpool’s ear, ‘Happy International Woman’s Day.’

To me, that scene isn’t about Deadpool’s supposed bisexuality (if it is, it’s poorly done.) It’s about a fundamental misunderstanding of feminism-

Feminism isn’t about fucking over men. It’s not about dominance.

…It’s not even about ‘rejecting the overall roles that men and women play in our society—the notion that there should be any differences between the sexes whatever other than the physiological ones.

It’s about equality and choice.

…It’s not about wishing that all baseball analysts be women, but understanding the importance of women like Jessica Mendoza.

…It’s about being outraged by what happened to Erin Andrews and others before her. (If they were male, I’d be just as outraged, but they aren’t are they?)

…It’s about not making the female lead a helpless damsel-in-distress, whose fate is left in the hands of two giant a-holes

Seriously, Deadpool’s leaving was a d*ck move (also a stupid one)-

So, why doesn’t Vanessa move on to a new, better relationship? (One where her partner stays with her through the good and the bad.)

I’ll tell you why-

It’s because this movie also has an insidious slut-shaming problem that goes hand in hand with its sexism.

Case-in-point(s)-

-Vanessa is a sex worker when she & Deadpool meet, yet- you never see her with another guy (or girl.) Ever. (I guess she quit after she and Deadpool started dating.)

When Deadpool comes back after leaving her in the middle of the goddamn night… she’s single and working hard… at a strip club… as wait for ita cocktail waitressnot as a stripper- implying that if she was, she wouldn’t be good enough to be ‘Deadpool’s Girlfriend.’

But, the real question is-
Why can’t she be the running place? #GIRLBOSS

…To those of you who point to her coming to Deadpool’s aid in the final battle as evidence of her empowerment, I ask-

Why, because she saved her sarcastic d*ck of an ex after he left her and then came back only to get her kidnapped by the world’s most sadistic –and ridiculous- Brit?

Let’s just say, I’m not convinced.

I also had a problem with seeing Colossus –a giant man- repeatedly hitting Angel Dust.

Yes, Gina Carano is a badass, but- with all the domestic violence issues in pro sports today- do we really have to go there like that?

…Speaking of going there Karan Soni, the American-born actor who plays Dopinder (the cab driver with a heavy Indian accent,) actually speaks like this.

Casually breezing by the fact that Deadpool refuses to pay him and encourages him to kidnap his crush…

Isn’t that what Aziz Ansari is talking about here?

Why couldn’t Karan Soni use his normal speaking voice for that role?

This is 2016 not 1961.

To those of you still insisting-

‘But, that’s how it’s written in the comic books!’

Maybe, I’m saying I have a problem with how it’s written.

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‘What’s that? You like comic books?! I’m sorry, we can’t be friends- I only speak baseball.’

(That’s okay,

I’m not a comic book nerd-

Clearly, I mean, I am a GRL

& no GRLs like comic books, just like no GRLs like baseball… Right?)

…Look, I can’t stop Deadpool from doing really well or the Royals from making it to the playoffs again, but-

I can choose to believe that we’re better than that and that, unlike Deadpool, people shouldn’t be cynical to a fault. …I mean, I’m an O’s fan, but even I’m sorta pullin’ for the Cubs this year. Yeah, even after that #partyFowler with Dexter. (Just please, no more Royals. Pleaaaase.)

I leave you with this excellent review of Deadpool

& this drawing by my brother-in-law:

MyGod

Shaking my head, your grl on base.

 

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