Breaking Now, Foul Ball, Playing Defense

If You’re A Feminist, Bend The F*cking Knee…

You know what’s more refreshing than finding a walking-distance waxing studio in LA that you feel TOTALLY COMFORTABLE in?

Finding a waxer who can talk MMA & UFC.

For me, it is one of the last pieces of an admittedly superficial puzzle that I have been hoping to complete by the time I’m thirty. Other pieces I have finally found include my perfect jeans & correct bra size…

Anyways,

There we were, last Saturday, two minority women, going about business as usual & having a candid discussion about Mayweather VS McGregor.

I asked Yani (my waxer) if she likes MMA & if she watched UFC fights. She said, yes & yes, which, for me, warrants a throw-back TayTay happy/surprised face-

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Yani was rooting for Mayweather while I was rooting for McGregor & we got to talking about humble beginnings-

I told her about Conor’s past as a plumber in Ireland, which she hadn’t known about, & she told me that Dana White used to be a bouncer, which I hadn’t known.

Then she said, ‘With a girl’s name, like ‘Dana,’ he must have gotten picked on a lot & probably had to get tough.’

Of course! Johnny Cash taught me that!

But honestly-

The thought that DANA WHITE, of all people, has a ‘girl’s name’ had NEVER occurred to me…

Because, he is DANA WHITE.

Now, I wouldn’t normally write about a trip to the waxer on the internet nor would I think that my conversation with Yani was anything extraordinary…

BUT THEN

THIS HAPPENED-

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&

I WANTED TO SCREAM AT LAUREN DUCA

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ESP AFTER-

THIS & THIS

& THIS TWEET-

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Which, to me, also translates to:

TAYLOR SWIFT IS A FEMINIST HERO WHO DESERVES NOTHING OTHER THAN UNWAVERING SUPPORT.

BUT!

Apparently, that is one step too far… For no apparent reason, that I can see, other than the fact that she is TAYLOR SWIFT.

I am genuinely shocked by the female backlash to LWYMMD, because if we were following fight rules-

“PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES.”

Taylor would be one of the most celebrated female fighters of our time (instead of one of the most hated pop stars) & we would all be talking about Taylor Swift, 27,’s incredible knock-out win over Denver DJ, David Mueller, 55.

Instead, I keep hearing that Swift defending herself against attacks from other women is anti-feminist & her defending herself against Kanye is part of the larger problem of white privilege.

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Did we expect the young woman who just won her sexual assault trial to just ‘sit back & take it?’

(Are we over the fact that we have an abuser-in-chief who said it was okay to grab women by the p*ssy?)

In fighting, equality is the only term you accept before you start swinging.

McGregor landing a righteous uppercut on Mayweather is equality

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Photo: Isaac Brekken/AP

&

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Photo: Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports

Mayweather knocking McGregor out is equality too.

“It used to be hard for me to watch,” Yani said, “but now, I’ll surprise my husband at the way I yell at the TV, telling them to hit each other.”

I laughed & told her that’s exactly how it is in my house too-

“You start to realize it’s an elegant game of strategy.”

“YES! Do you watch female fighting too?” She asked in an excited voice.

“Of course! Female fighters have some of the best, bloodiest fights.”

Is it considered anti-feminist for a female fighter to land a counter-punch on another female fighter?

No, actually, that’s equality. (I wonder if Lauren Duca watches MMA.)

So, why can’t we accept it when it comes from Taylor Swift?

Is it because the world of pop is somehow supposed to be more ‘polite?’

(What about Katy Perry’s ‘Swish Swish’?)

“Sometimes when I’m trying to understand a person’s motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst.”

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Question: What’s the worst reason we could have for hating T. Swift?

Answer: We equate her success with validation for the principles we feel personally oppressed by &, instead of hating oppression & inequality, we start to hate Taylor as we, in turn, become oppressors ourselves.

Now, let me ask, where in Taylor’s ouvre do you see her glorifying ANY form of inequality or oppression?

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While we have been equating Taylor to a White Walker,

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She has been using her success to fight for musician’s rights & as a platform to empower sexual assault survivors while fighting against rape culture in court…

& all we can talk about are the drawings.

 I understand why Taylor Swift is angry

&

It is a healthy, feminist anger.

We, like Kanye, have tried to make her part of our narrative

&

Taylor devouring her would-be destroyers,

Such as Kimye & Katy,

Before they could devour her

Is no different from Arya Stark killing, then wearing the faces of, those who have wronged her.

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Except-

Arya is fictional. She didn’t really do that. She can’t.

Taylor is real & she just did that-

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So, if you are a feminist fantasizing about Arya sitting on the Iron Throne

Then

Do me a favor-

Bend the f*cking knee

To a real bad*ss chick making self-defense sexy for real women.

Because

If a boy named ‘Dana‘ can make the UFC what it is today, then a girl named ‘Taylor Swift’ should be able reinvent herself as a Tea-Sipping Serpentine Queen.

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“Maybe I have overlearned the lesson of staying calm, biting my tongue, digging my fingernails into a clenched fist, smiling all the while, determined to present a composed face to the world.”

Hillary Clinton

Sipping ice tea till this heat wave passes,

Grl On Base

 

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Breaking Now, Fantasy, Foul Ball

Behaving Badly – No Biggie?

*Please note that this post was written yesterday (Sunday, the 15th) as I was watching my Fantasy opponent make a Royals (circa 2014-2015) style comeback on me. Also, the Rangers/Blue Jays brawl (which I’ll get to) happened while I was writing this. …What a crazy f*ckin’ day.

So yeah-

MY GOD, it’s been awhile since my last post &, you might’ve guessed it, Fantasy’s to blame…

I’ve reached the point where I need someone to check me into Fantasy rehab (& it’s only week 6!) but I’d also never be able to speak to that person again… & I’m finally at a place in my life where I like everyone I know. :/

Oh well, it’s my problem, & I’ll deal with it, right after I check on today’s games…


F*ck. Why’d I stream Devenski??? Damn rookie pitchers… They’re like virgins, you have to wait for them to get really good &, in Fantasy, where time crawls, ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t. At least, I don’t. Been there. Done that. Over it. Totally dropping Devenski, dropping him so hard, just like I dropped Berrios.


…Yes, I’m a monster, but this is sports, so, as Aroldis Chapman and Jon Jones can tell you, a little monstrosity is no biggie (as long as you keep playing the game well.)

That’s right, Aroldis Chapman is back from his 30 game suspension & he is throwing heat with the same powerful hands that got him suspended (‘according to a police report, he placed his hands around his girlfriend’s neck during an argument and fired a gun eight times.’)

‘Chapman’s case was one of three investigated by MLB this offseason as part of the new domestic violence policy. The others involved Jose Reyes of the Colorado Rockies and Yasiel Puig of the Los Angeles Dodgers.’

Reyes, it turns out, will also be suspended.

Frankly, it’s about damn time the MLB started cracking down on domestic violence… but are they going far enough?

I mean-

Chapman was an original draft pick in my 6 person Fantasy league, even with the suspension, because when it comes down to it, in baseball, a 30 game suspension is no biggie…

Meanwhile, my bestie (now to be referred to as my bestie again & not as ‘LameFace McGillicuddy’) was forced to drop Dee Gordon, who was suspended 80 games for using PEDs, from his Fantasy roster. It’s a tough loss for him (&, I suppose, for the Marlins as well.) 😛

My point is-

Shouldn’t Chapman have been suspended at least as many games as Gordon for scaring his girlfriend so bad that she ‘hid in the bushes outside his home while she phoned police dispatchers for help.What an *sshole, right?

…So, why aren’t people judging him the way they’re judging Dee Gordon?

Probably because most people don’t know what ‘domestic violence’ actually means.

What I mean by that is-

When I asked some fantasy baseballers I know if they knew exactly what Chapman did to get suspended, none of them knew. All they knew was that he’d been suspended for ‘domestic violence’ & now he’s back & throwing fast fastballs. (Well yeah, the dude is strong…)

I can only assume that if he’d been given a longer suspension, more people would know the details of what he did-

& that matters.

(Say what you want about Dee, but at least he risked his own life.)

…So, as long as we’re on the subject of *ssholes, let’s talk about someone who I’ve become more & more convinced is an *sshole-

Jon Bones Jones.

In 2015, Jones ‘pleaded guilty to a charge stemming from a hit-and-run crash in April that injured a pregnant woman.’ (He served no jail time for the hit-and-run.)

Before that, ‘he was involved in four previous documented incidents, ranging from driving with a suspended license to running his car into a utility pole.’

…The part where he was stripped of his UFC title?

No biggie-

He’s fighting to reclaim it AT UFC 200 IN THE MAIN EVENT SPOT.

What I find troubling is that, according to Jones, he never actually lost the title or the belt:

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While it’s true that Cormier didn’t beat him for the belt in the octagon…

Cormier also never tested positive for cocaine or fled the scene of a hit-and-run.

I was rooting for Jones when he defended his title against Cormier at UFC 182, but I’ll be rooting for Cormier at UFC 200, because

I believe Jon Jones deserves to feel like a loser

&

If Cormier could give him the gift of his first real loss in the octagon, that would be a biggie-

A biggie, like Conor McGregor NOT fighting in UFC 200 (Jon Jones got his spot after Conor failed/refused to meet his press obligations.)

Basically, Conor’s saying he’s a big enough star that he’s literally earned ($$$) the right to dictate his own terms for fighting- but the UFC said, nope.

Conor has built his UFC career on being confrontational & ostentatious…& winning (till recently.) So, it makes sense that he’d take on Dana White with the same cocksure-ity he’s employed against his opponents in the octagon…

But you can’t knock out Dana White… or win by decision when your opponent is the decider.

So, what was/is Conor thinking?

 Who knows? It’s possible that Conor may well be a little too intoxicated with his own McGregor, but this fight with Dana White does raise a good question:

With the UFC more popular than ever & no UFC union, what are the limits of the UFC’s powers’ ?

Here’s another one-

Is Bryce Harper MLB’s Conor McGregor?

Yup. They’re quite a pair of shrinking violets, aren’t they?

But-

Love them or hate them, swagger is good for business… & they’ve got it in spades.

&, really-

How can you *not* want to ‘make baseball fun again?’

Sometimes, however, a fun little bat flip

Leads to-

(Read more about the Rangers/Blue Jays brawl here.)

When it comes to the Rangers vs. the Blue Jays, I think the Rangers might be the *ssholes…

…which isn’t to say Rougned Odor doesn’t have a mean right hook. He does…

But he’s probably going to be suspended for a balls’ age

 (&, of course, I have him in Fantasy.)

Maybe, there’s a place for him in the UFC?

(…Too soon?)

Trying to stay out of trouble till next time, your grl on base.

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